Oh geez, 2 posts in less than 24 hours. What is the world coming to?
Anyways, I meant to ask y'alls advice in the other post but then it slipped my mind--D and my 6 month-aversary (mes-aversary?) is coming up and I have NO IDEA what I should get him. Any suggestions? We're working with limited time and budget here.
<3
4/27/10
Still so tired. Today is Reading Day. Tonight I shall sleep.
Yesterday, my roommate and I had a party at our place. It was fun, but wayyy too much food went in my mouth. This has been a recurring theme lately.
Only 10 days til graduation. My dress arrived today. It fits (thank God). It's a flowy-style that looks vaguely Grecian. I like it (though I'd like it better if I were smaller). D likes it too. :)
Turned in a draft of the thesis today. 22 pages. Final paper is due May 6. I'm so happy that I'm a science major and we don't have minimum page limits...the English and History papers have to be at least 50-80 pages.
So two finals (Friday and Monday) and the thesis and...THAT'S IT!!! The end of my years as an undergraduate! How exciting/terrifying! I can't wait to have free time again.
Love you all!
Yesterday, my roommate and I had a party at our place. It was fun, but wayyy too much food went in my mouth. This has been a recurring theme lately.
Only 10 days til graduation. My dress arrived today. It fits (thank God). It's a flowy-style that looks vaguely Grecian. I like it (though I'd like it better if I were smaller). D likes it too. :)
Turned in a draft of the thesis today. 22 pages. Final paper is due May 6. I'm so happy that I'm a science major and we don't have minimum page limits...the English and History papers have to be at least 50-80 pages.
So two finals (Friday and Monday) and the thesis and...THAT'S IT!!! The end of my years as an undergraduate! How exciting/terrifying! I can't wait to have free time again.
Love you all!
4/22/10
SO TIRED. This is what I get for staying up til 3 then waking up at 7:30. I think today will be a coffee day. And thesis. Going to go to the library as soon as I take a shower and stay there. All day. At least until the awards ceremony this afternoon, anyway.
My biochem test got moved to Monday, thank goodness! So all I need to do today besides thesis work is review psych chapters and slides for the test tomorrow. I haven't really studied for any of her other tests and I've aced them all, so I'm not worried.
Pretty sure I'm PMS-ing. Hate that bloated feeling.
I am so close to the end of the semester. Nearly there. The end is in sight.
<3
My biochem test got moved to Monday, thank goodness! So all I need to do today besides thesis work is review psych chapters and slides for the test tomorrow. I haven't really studied for any of her other tests and I've aced them all, so I'm not worried.
Pretty sure I'm PMS-ing. Hate that bloated feeling.
I am so close to the end of the semester. Nearly there. The end is in sight.
<3
4/19/10
Ex's mom and brother were not in attendance at the concert. D was. I was happy.
D sat next to my roommate L (who is amazing). He had this goofy grin on his face every time I looked. L told me later, "He was so adorable! He couldn't take his eyes off you, he was so smitten."
Then he helped me and the ex and ex's girl and a couple others break down the set. Which was great because a) the more people shoving chairs and stands and timpani in a van, the easier it is, b) I got happiness and hugs and inside-joke type teasing in front of the ex and his girl (they did not seem enthused. Ex is not good with any sort of PDA anyway--one of the many things that didn't work between us), and c) I got to spend more time with D. Which is always good.
This might be a little too much information. It's sex-oriented; if you don't wanna know...don't read it. I'm a clarinet player, so I'm used to all the suck/blow whatever jokes. I made one with D once about "practicing" my pieces on certain parts of his anatomy. And the thing about D and me is that we are both absolutely insane. I mean, we can have intense make-outs and he can get all mushy and stuff like that...but also we just have fun. He's a total goofball. He randomly breaks out into song (usually something like "You are so beautiful to me" when we're in bed together) and we have wrestling matches (usually because he is being weird and trying to do something insane like tickle me or lick me or stick gum in my nose--don't ask about that last one. I'm not sure either). Anyway, the point is that we tend to take our jokes wayyy past the point of normal. So after we got done laughing over his *ahem*cock*ahem* as a clarinet, we were like....hmmm...wonder what that would be like? Long story short, I "played" one of our pieces for him, and it's been an inside joke between us ever since.
So when this piece came up in the concert, I nearly couldn't play I was laughing so hard. Afterwards I asked D, "So, was it as good this time?" He said, "Well, I definitely didn't feel quite so much..."
I left my little black concert dress on until he came over later that night. :)
Ok, sex part over now! It is safe to look again!
I'm aware that I'm bragging about D quite a bit lately. We are coming up on our 6 month anniversary. I can't believe we've made it this far. I can't believe he's still with me. Especially considering that he knows everything now.
I still worry about the future, particularly the long-distance thing. D says he wants to try. He's never done long-distance before. But then again, he's also never had a history of long relationships and yet here we are, still together after half a year (for him, that's a long time. I think I'm the second-longest relationship he's had at this point. And the first was an on-and-off thing for about 9 months). I'm still just trying to enjoy what we've got right now. I don't want to think too hard about what's to come.
Ooooh I have another brag to make: turns out that BOTH of my presentations on Saturday won awards! I'm super excited. It does mean that I have to go to some sort of awards banquet and they will serve us dinner, so I guess I will have to eat something there (I checked the menu though, and almost none of the options are vegan, so maybe I can just get away with a salad and then pick at the veggie ravioli?) but they are giving me money, so I'll put up with it! My bank account has been getting a little low lately.
Tonight I made cookies and rice krispy treats for the club party tomorrow. Tonight I did not get enough work done. Tonight, I will be staying up late.
Love you, lovelies. Hope each of you has a wonderful, low-stress week. Send good biochemistry and thesis-writing vibes--I am in desperate need of them!
<3
D sat next to my roommate L (who is amazing). He had this goofy grin on his face every time I looked. L told me later, "He was so adorable! He couldn't take his eyes off you, he was so smitten."
Then he helped me and the ex and ex's girl and a couple others break down the set. Which was great because a) the more people shoving chairs and stands and timpani in a van, the easier it is, b) I got happiness and hugs and inside-joke type teasing in front of the ex and his girl (they did not seem enthused. Ex is not good with any sort of PDA anyway--one of the many things that didn't work between us), and c) I got to spend more time with D. Which is always good.
This might be a little too much information. It's sex-oriented; if you don't wanna know...don't read it. I'm a clarinet player, so I'm used to all the suck/blow whatever jokes. I made one with D once about "practicing" my pieces on certain parts of his anatomy. And the thing about D and me is that we are both absolutely insane. I mean, we can have intense make-outs and he can get all mushy and stuff like that...but also we just have fun. He's a total goofball. He randomly breaks out into song (usually something like "You are so beautiful to me" when we're in bed together) and we have wrestling matches (usually because he is being weird and trying to do something insane like tickle me or lick me or stick gum in my nose--don't ask about that last one. I'm not sure either). Anyway, the point is that we tend to take our jokes wayyy past the point of normal. So after we got done laughing over his *ahem*cock*ahem* as a clarinet, we were like....hmmm...wonder what that would be like? Long story short, I "played" one of our pieces for him, and it's been an inside joke between us ever since.
So when this piece came up in the concert, I nearly couldn't play I was laughing so hard. Afterwards I asked D, "So, was it as good this time?" He said, "Well, I definitely didn't feel quite so much..."
I left my little black concert dress on until he came over later that night. :)
Ok, sex part over now! It is safe to look again!
I'm aware that I'm bragging about D quite a bit lately. We are coming up on our 6 month anniversary. I can't believe we've made it this far. I can't believe he's still with me. Especially considering that he knows everything now.
I still worry about the future, particularly the long-distance thing. D says he wants to try. He's never done long-distance before. But then again, he's also never had a history of long relationships and yet here we are, still together after half a year (for him, that's a long time. I think I'm the second-longest relationship he's had at this point. And the first was an on-and-off thing for about 9 months). I'm still just trying to enjoy what we've got right now. I don't want to think too hard about what's to come.
Ooooh I have another brag to make: turns out that BOTH of my presentations on Saturday won awards! I'm super excited. It does mean that I have to go to some sort of awards banquet and they will serve us dinner, so I guess I will have to eat something there (I checked the menu though, and almost none of the options are vegan, so maybe I can just get away with a salad and then pick at the veggie ravioli?) but they are giving me money, so I'll put up with it! My bank account has been getting a little low lately.
Tonight I made cookies and rice krispy treats for the club party tomorrow. Tonight I did not get enough work done. Tonight, I will be staying up late.
Love you, lovelies. Hope each of you has a wonderful, low-stress week. Send good biochemistry and thesis-writing vibes--I am in desperate need of them!
<3
4/18/10
So! First things first. Sunshine award!
rules of this blog award:
1. post this logo within blog post.
2. pass award on to 5 fellow bloggers.
3. link to nominees within your post.
4. let the nominees know they've received an award by commenting on their blog.
5. share the love! link the person from whom received the sunshine award.
Peri at Glue and Pieces gave me this award, so here's her link. She's abso-tively posi-lutely incredible. Love love love. <3
I have so many more than 5! I wish I could list everybody. If you're not on this list, well...you should be. I love you all.
1. SBB at Skin & Bones Beautiful.
She and I have gone through some of the same shit with exes. Plus she's awesome and lovely and deserves so much more.
2. PD at My Life: Partly Cloudy with a Chance of Crazy.
PD's got the most adorable daughter and you can tell she's an awesome mom. Her posts are (by turns and sometimes all at once) funny, intense, and emotional. Love her writing and honesty.
3. Pretty Wreck at Control.
Pretty Wreck is such an inspiration. She is the kind of person that looks shit in the face and just goes, "I am going to kick your butt." And then she does it. It's pretty amazing. Plus she introduced me to the Smashing Pumpkins song "Zero", which I love.
4. Zen at Dainty Zen.
Zen's such a sweetheart--and her posts almost always make me smile (except for the most recent one, because it is so awfully sad).
5. Sottile at Now It's All Collapsed.
Sottile's super-smart and another of my inspirations. Like me, she's handling school and food and roommates and family and travel all put together. Unlike me, she's incredibly good at it. Her posts are always optimistic and she never seems to lose control.
Ok ok, now that we've got that over with (SO hard to only pick five! Seriously, guys! I want to give this to everyone in my community, because you are all so wonderful!)...on to the mess of my life once again (ahhh I'm so selfish).
So I gave my talk and poster presentation yesterday and it went fairly well, I guess. Today I have to make another poster for the session next Friday...and I have to play in a concert. I'm principal clarinet, so I sit right out in front...and my ex is in the band (trumpet player) and his gf is too(second chair clarinet--yes, the one he started dating almost immediately after breaking up with me...he got over 6 years in about a month). Awkward! I so hope his mom doesn't come to this concert, because I am wayyyy too fat for the dress that I am wearing. I don't really have anything else to wear though. The last time I spoke to his mom was the day after he dumped me. Nearly a year ago. She told me she loved me like a daughter. Ummm...guess not!
Plus, I have this huge bruise on my arm. I don't know from what, but it's shaped vaguely like fingermarks, so I'm thinking D. Don't worry; he's definitely not abusive or anything like that...I just bruise really easily. Plus, he's been teaching me some martial arts throws (he does brazilian jiu-jitsu and krav maga), so it might be from that...or it might be from when he pinned me down the other night and kissed me so hard I couldn't breathe. (HOT) Oh my gosh, girlies, do I love this man.
Anyways though. The dress I'm wearing has spaghetti straps, so the bruise is totally visible. The shape's fading a little though. You can't really tell it's a handprint. So I guess it'll be ok.
This is probably a really terrible impulse, but every time I see M (the ex) or his brother or his mom or his friends, I want to be thin and amazing. I want to be with D and to be laughing and happy. To kind of rub it in his face that I DON'T NEED HIM. That I am so much happier without him. (Hence the reason I worry about the bruise. I definitely don't want them to think that D abuses me!) Does that make me a bad person?
Blehhh whatever. I'm not gonna stress about it. I'm just going to play amazingly today. And hope that D can make it to the concert (he's still sick. He quarantined himself for the past couple days in the hopes that he'd feel well enough to leave the house today. I saw him yesterday and his cough seems better. I really hope he'll come today).
So next week I have a biochem test. I have a poster session where I have to present two posters. I have to finish my thesis. It's due on Monday (assuming I want to enter it in the senior competition, whichof course I do...it's a cash prize for the best one. I discovered a new species. I like to think that at least makes me competitive. I guess I haven't talked much about my research on here...but I love it and it's amazing.) Plus I have two awards ceremonies to attend and two club end-of-the-semester parties. Ughh too busy! Too much stuff! I might go crazy over it all.
19 days until graduation. I'm thinking no food until then. I've never sustained a liquid fast for that long...but if I want to even pretend to be a healthy weight then, I think I'm gonna need to. I did super well for a while, but then I binged all last week. Even yesterday, after my talk, my advisor took me out for lunch. And then they fed us pizza for dinner. So now I'm really feeling the need for emptiness. I'm bloated and gross.
It might not be entirely realistic to liquid fast for that long. So I'm going to say that raw fruit and veg are ok in times of emergency. I can't think of anytime that I will be obligated to eat between now and then, but who knows--situations happen. So if I'm forced, then raw fruit and veggies are acceptable. Otherwise...well, I'll consider it a challenge. Let's see if I can do it!
Goal: to drink at least 3 bottles of water per day. I never drink enough water.
Ok. Gotta go work on this research poster before the concert. Love you, lovelies!
<3
rules of this blog award:
1. post this logo within blog post.
2. pass award on to 5 fellow bloggers.
3. link to nominees within your post.
4. let the nominees know they've received an award by commenting on their blog.
5. share the love! link the person from whom received the sunshine award.
Peri at Glue and Pieces gave me this award, so here's her link. She's abso-tively posi-lutely incredible. Love love love. <3
I have so many more than 5! I wish I could list everybody. If you're not on this list, well...you should be. I love you all.
1. SBB at Skin & Bones Beautiful.
She and I have gone through some of the same shit with exes. Plus she's awesome and lovely and deserves so much more.
2. PD at My Life: Partly Cloudy with a Chance of Crazy.
PD's got the most adorable daughter and you can tell she's an awesome mom. Her posts are (by turns and sometimes all at once) funny, intense, and emotional. Love her writing and honesty.
3. Pretty Wreck at Control.
Pretty Wreck is such an inspiration. She is the kind of person that looks shit in the face and just goes, "I am going to kick your butt." And then she does it. It's pretty amazing. Plus she introduced me to the Smashing Pumpkins song "Zero", which I love.
4. Zen at Dainty Zen.
Zen's such a sweetheart--and her posts almost always make me smile (except for the most recent one, because it is so awfully sad).
5. Sottile at Now It's All Collapsed.
Sottile's super-smart and another of my inspirations. Like me, she's handling school and food and roommates and family and travel all put together. Unlike me, she's incredibly good at it. Her posts are always optimistic and she never seems to lose control.
Ok ok, now that we've got that over with (SO hard to only pick five! Seriously, guys! I want to give this to everyone in my community, because you are all so wonderful!)...on to the mess of my life once again (ahhh I'm so selfish).
So I gave my talk and poster presentation yesterday and it went fairly well, I guess. Today I have to make another poster for the session next Friday...and I have to play in a concert. I'm principal clarinet, so I sit right out in front...and my ex is in the band (trumpet player) and his gf is too(second chair clarinet--yes, the one he started dating almost immediately after breaking up with me...he got over 6 years in about a month). Awkward! I so hope his mom doesn't come to this concert, because I am wayyyy too fat for the dress that I am wearing. I don't really have anything else to wear though. The last time I spoke to his mom was the day after he dumped me. Nearly a year ago. She told me she loved me like a daughter. Ummm...guess not!
Plus, I have this huge bruise on my arm. I don't know from what, but it's shaped vaguely like fingermarks, so I'm thinking D. Don't worry; he's definitely not abusive or anything like that...I just bruise really easily. Plus, he's been teaching me some martial arts throws (he does brazilian jiu-jitsu and krav maga), so it might be from that...or it might be from when he pinned me down the other night and kissed me so hard I couldn't breathe. (HOT) Oh my gosh, girlies, do I love this man.
Anyways though. The dress I'm wearing has spaghetti straps, so the bruise is totally visible. The shape's fading a little though. You can't really tell it's a handprint. So I guess it'll be ok.
This is probably a really terrible impulse, but every time I see M (the ex) or his brother or his mom or his friends, I want to be thin and amazing. I want to be with D and to be laughing and happy. To kind of rub it in his face that I DON'T NEED HIM. That I am so much happier without him. (Hence the reason I worry about the bruise. I definitely don't want them to think that D abuses me!) Does that make me a bad person?
Blehhh whatever. I'm not gonna stress about it. I'm just going to play amazingly today. And hope that D can make it to the concert (he's still sick. He quarantined himself for the past couple days in the hopes that he'd feel well enough to leave the house today. I saw him yesterday and his cough seems better. I really hope he'll come today).
So next week I have a biochem test. I have a poster session where I have to present two posters. I have to finish my thesis. It's due on Monday (assuming I want to enter it in the senior competition, whichof course I do...it's a cash prize for the best one. I discovered a new species. I like to think that at least makes me competitive. I guess I haven't talked much about my research on here...but I love it and it's amazing.) Plus I have two awards ceremonies to attend and two club end-of-the-semester parties. Ughh too busy! Too much stuff! I might go crazy over it all.
19 days until graduation. I'm thinking no food until then. I've never sustained a liquid fast for that long...but if I want to even pretend to be a healthy weight then, I think I'm gonna need to. I did super well for a while, but then I binged all last week. Even yesterday, after my talk, my advisor took me out for lunch. And then they fed us pizza for dinner. So now I'm really feeling the need for emptiness. I'm bloated and gross.
It might not be entirely realistic to liquid fast for that long. So I'm going to say that raw fruit and veg are ok in times of emergency. I can't think of anytime that I will be obligated to eat between now and then, but who knows--situations happen. So if I'm forced, then raw fruit and veggies are acceptable. Otherwise...well, I'll consider it a challenge. Let's see if I can do it!
Goal: to drink at least 3 bottles of water per day. I never drink enough water.
Ok. Gotta go work on this research poster before the concert. Love you, lovelies!
<3
4/15/10
still here. sick though. caught the bug that's going round. also not ready to present thesis on saturday. ugh.
Peri (who is amazing) gave me a sunshine award. I don't feel too sunshine-y at the moment, so I'm gonna wait to pass it on until I can devote some time and happiness to it.
I love you all. Even if I don't comment, I'm always reading.
Peri (who is amazing) gave me a sunshine award. I don't feel too sunshine-y at the moment, so I'm gonna wait to pass it on until I can devote some time and happiness to it.
I love you all. Even if I don't comment, I'm always reading.
4/11/10
4/9/10
4/7/10
Uggghhhhh I am so tired. Today has been such a long day. Been at school since 7:30 this morning. It's only 7:15 PM now and I'm dragging like crazy. Maybe I'll take a 30 minute nap before working on my presentation powerpoint.
30 days til graduation. 19 days until my thesis is due. 10 days until the conference.
Today I had to take a prospective honors student to lunch...basically try to convince her to come to our university. Didn't eat though--said I had a standing lunch date with my boyfriend + friends on Wednesdays so I'd already eaten. (This is half-true...I do go out to lunch with them; I just normally don't get anything. I can't afford to eat out right now anyway.) I'm such a con-artist. They totally believed me.
D said to me yesterday, "Have you lost weight?"
I said, "...not a substantial amount, I don't think."
D: "I think you've slimmed down some."
I suspected he was right--wasn't seeing a difference on the scale though. I can't really tell much by looking in the mirror; I rely on the scale for accuracy. This morning, lo and behold, substantial weight drop! Guess period bloat is finally receding. Happy happy joy joy. :)
Nap time. I'm about to fall over with exhaustion.
30 days til graduation. 19 days until my thesis is due. 10 days until the conference.
Today I had to take a prospective honors student to lunch...basically try to convince her to come to our university. Didn't eat though--said I had a standing lunch date with my boyfriend + friends on Wednesdays so I'd already eaten. (This is half-true...I do go out to lunch with them; I just normally don't get anything. I can't afford to eat out right now anyway.) I'm such a con-artist. They totally believed me.
D said to me yesterday, "Have you lost weight?"
I said, "...not a substantial amount, I don't think."
D: "I think you've slimmed down some."
I suspected he was right--wasn't seeing a difference on the scale though. I can't really tell much by looking in the mirror; I rely on the scale for accuracy. This morning, lo and behold, substantial weight drop! Guess period bloat is finally receding. Happy happy joy joy. :)
Nap time. I'm about to fall over with exhaustion.
4/6/10
Taking a break from the MASSIVE amounts of work I have to get done today. Been in the uni library for 3 hours now making graphs and doing analyses for my independent study and thesis projects. I have to present in LESS THAN 2 WEEKS at a state-wide conference. Ughhh. After I get these done though, only 4 more things on my to-do list. Thank god for daily planners, eh? It's hard to keep my life straight otherwise.
Bluhhh I will be so happy when this period business is over with. I feel all bloated and crave-y and yukky.
Ok, back to work now. Love you, lovelies!
Bluhhh I will be so happy when this period business is over with. I feel all bloated and crave-y and yukky.
Ok, back to work now. Love you, lovelies!
4/5/10
Hello, period.
This explains a lot. The intense cravings, the neurotic feelings, the stagnant (actually, up a little) weight. I'm glad to have an explanation! I was feeling so upset yesterday for no real reason. Poor D. He tried to figure out what was the matter and I couldn't explain. I'll have to tell him today that it turns out I was just stupidly hormonal. And maybe ask for another backrub.
My periods are fairly unpredictable. Usually I get cramps the day before, but yesterday? Nothing. Totally unexpected. Though I guess I should've realized I am retaining water.
Ohhh-kayy. That's probably enough about what's going on in my pants today.
Hope everything is well with you, lovelies!
This explains a lot. The intense cravings, the neurotic feelings, the stagnant (actually, up a little) weight. I'm glad to have an explanation! I was feeling so upset yesterday for no real reason. Poor D. He tried to figure out what was the matter and I couldn't explain. I'll have to tell him today that it turns out I was just stupidly hormonal. And maybe ask for another backrub.
My periods are fairly unpredictable. Usually I get cramps the day before, but yesterday? Nothing. Totally unexpected. Though I guess I should've realized I am retaining water.
Ohhh-kayy. That's probably enough about what's going on in my pants today.
Hope everything is well with you, lovelies!
4/4/10
L's gone back home. Intake while she was here was not awful--got away with shirataki noodles, cantaloupe, apples. Yay me. However, tummy is not happy with me and is all bloated up. So I finally nerved up to do a SWF again. Made it through nearly all of the liter before I nearly puked and couldn't handle the rest. Ah well. Hope it works anyway. (I do not count salt water flush as a laxative. It is a cleanse. It is all-natural. It is actually one of the kriyas that was in my yoga book when I took the course last year. So I am not breaking my promise to D.)
Almost broke yesterday and binged on cookies. Ate a full container of cantaloupe chunks. Still wanted the cookies. Went to sleep instead. Cookies are not vegan anyway.
Today I have to bake more cookies for club meeting tomorrow. I'm afraid to do this alone. Afraid I won't be able to stop myself. I am going to wait until roommate or D is here. Hopefully D. I cannot break vegan-ism around him.
I have so much more work before the end of this semester. 33 days until graduation. I am overwhelmed.
Happy Easter, everyone! Love you all.
Almost broke yesterday and binged on cookies. Ate a full container of cantaloupe chunks. Still wanted the cookies. Went to sleep instead. Cookies are not vegan anyway.
Today I have to bake more cookies for club meeting tomorrow. I'm afraid to do this alone. Afraid I won't be able to stop myself. I am going to wait until roommate or D is here. Hopefully D. I cannot break vegan-ism around him.
I have so much more work before the end of this semester. 33 days until graduation. I am overwhelmed.
Happy Easter, everyone! Love you all.
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