I guess I'm not surprised. I haven't been able to look at myself in the mirror for a while now and I've still been eating ALL THE THINGS. But it stops now. I have 5 months until this stupid wedding (not mine, obviously, a friend's) and I am damn well going to look nice in my dress.
I went to the gym tonight and did not binge today (though nor did I eat regular meals - oh man, here I go with the stupid all-or-nothing thinking again), so that's a pretty good start.
Other good things: I got the teaching position I applied for, so funding worries are now replaced by time worries (2 part-time jobs + the fucking thesis = WHEN DO I SLEEP??). My boss at part-time job 1 (not the teaching one) is pleased with my work and said good things about it today. I've hit an "I don't care" wall, so I am not stressing out as much about the thesis (I'll start panicking soon, I'm sure).
FH and I are half the time great and half the time not-great. But it's affecting me less now, which I think is a good sign. I feel bad for him though - I've been very hot'n'cold lately as I try and figure out what I want and how to handle the situation.
The whole M thing is still kinda bugging me. :(
That's all. My life is basically same old same old.
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| Here: haz a cute. |
Good for getting the TA job!
ReplyDeleteDon't feel bad for FH. He's just tasting the vintage of the grapes he grew when he started half-assing it with you. It didn't get this way strictly because of you, so let that stand as it is, no apologies.
xoxo
Ah, I'm SO glad Kazehana commented about FH. She expresses herself far more eloquently than I could!
DeleteMaybe it's because I read your archive in such a short period of time, but your thoughts about FH remind me of the discussions you had with therapist about M and not shouldering all the fault or blame for troubles in the relationship.
SO MANY CONGRATS on getting that job! I feel that time worries are preferable to money worries.... Much easier to make time than it is to make money!
As for the IUD, I'm stumped. Honestly. I had about a week where I didn't have to take any pain meds, and then not 48 hours after my last post, I started ovulating and the "period pain" started up again. I've NEVER been in pain while ovulating, so I can only assume it's because of the IUD. Thankfully I have a follow up next week to make sure nothing's wrong...
Congratulations on the job!
ReplyDeleteTake care of yourself and do what's best for you.
<3
P.S.
ReplyDeleteThis piece of weirdness popped up on you youtube dash. You have to see it, but be warned: It is Weeble.
http://youtu.be/r3fRIeCa3Sw
I hope you're ok *Squiddy hugs*