i don't want to be disordered anymore (did i ever? i don't think so)
how did i get here? how can i get out?
i don't want to hate myself
i don't want to doubt D.
i just want to be normal.
and i want him to love me and only me and always me.
(even though that is a selfish wish and i know he can make no promises and i should not either because i am only going to leave in july.)
Salix, maybe try taking one day at a time. You can one day not be disordered. I really hope you can and I think you CAN do it and you will. It just takes time and patience and it can suck while you are getting there. It is possible though. It really is. There are so many people on blogger that are recovered and are better and are sharing their stories with others. It is nice to know that through the storm, there is calm and happiness on the other side, though with the occasional bad day that brings memories back. I'm probably making no sense. You CAN do this!
ReplyDelete*hugs*
Sarah
Lol, I misread a bumper sticker today. Guess what I thought it said?
ReplyDelete"Healthy Salix"
(I have no idea what it actually DID say, it was small writing and I was already following too close >.<)
It is hard to get better, but you can do it. Baby steps, over and over. Left foot, right foot, left foot.Fall over, get up. Stumble, reach for support. Eventually you get the momentum going and it becomes easier to ignore that shitty little voice of insanity in the back of your head.
You can do it, you have people who understand to talk to, who can help you. We are here for you, fight on!!