It has been one week and I still feel very broken.
And I still haven't really got any words. I spent yesterday crying and sleeping instead of working. Everything just seems very pointless and I have difficulty with motivating myself. I just don't care. I've been binging too.
I know that as long as I keep going that things will get better eventually. That seems so very far away. I wish I wish I wish I could feel better right now. I am impatient to be happy again.
I think things would be easier if D were having trouble getting over me. But I know he's not. It is like I never existed. After a year and a half together, I left no impact on his life. How depressing is that?
Whatever. I have people who love me. I have trouble reaching out but I'm trying.
Right now I am sitting in a coffee shop with H doing homework together because I did not want to be alone and because H is wonderful.
I am struggling to care about these midterm essays and my upcoming committee meeting. Boat week next week. Maybe that will help me begin caring again.
Aww honey...we all leave our traces on the people we love, but the marks we leave are not always visible to the naked eye.
ReplyDeleteLike that Bjork song says: "you're the one who's missing out; but you won't notice til after 5 years...if you live that long, you'll wake up all loveless."
Sometimes it takes a while for the repurcussions of our choices to sink in, really hit us.
Any way...I'm merely musing aloud at this point. Text me if you need a few random photos or anything else at all.
xo
*Massive cuddles*
ReplyDeleteI hope the boat week is fun.
<3