Yesterday I texted M with this: "If I run away, can I hide out at your place?"

Today I'm feeling mostly better.  I'm still semi-seriously considering running away though.  The things that instigated this: yesterday morning, I found out that my advisor has not been entirely upfront regarding funding.  And there's an offer, sort of (I have an interview scheduled, advisor is treating it as a sure thing)...but this offer?  Doesn't even cover half my tuition.  Let alone a stipend for rent, living costs, etc.  

I mean, classes start next week and I still don't know who's paying my tuition.  Fuck if I'm going to pay >$8000 out of pocket!  According to my contract, I still have 2 quarters guaranteed RA-ship, which advisor is responsible for.  The school doesn't even recognize the offer I'm interviewing for as an RA-ship...because it's an hourly position.  And since they doesn't recognize it as an RA-ship, they won't cover my tuition or even waive the out-of-state fees.

Also, my daddy apparently went to the ER with uncontrollable bleeding (don't ask).  He's okay now though.

I cried a lot yesterday.

And then I had a talk with advisor (in which he said he'd figure something out, and when I asked "What if we can't get tuition covered?" responded that we would cross that bridge when we got to it.  I told him that we were kind of at that bridge already).  Advisor says all I need to do is do well in this interview.  And apply for state residency (school technically won't recognize my residency, because I'm a full-time student, but the admin office told me that they sometimes let grad students slide).  If I can get them to class me as a resident and give me in-state tuition, that cuts my tuition costs in half.

Worst case scenario is that I will have to take a leave of absence.  Which depends on me beasting the interview on Monday.  Or finding a job.  I can't afford to go without at least some sort of income. 

This whole situation is total bullshit.  Advisor told me, has been telling me all along, not to worry about funding.  Really?  I think I should have been worrying.

My mother's comment is, "Great!  You can move back home!"  I almost hung up on her.

So yes.  I don't really want to take a leave of absence...but I think it's going to happen.  I don't trust my advisor to find the $$ for tuition.  O me of little faith.  (But somewhat deservedly so.)

This has been an extremely self-absorbed and whiny rant.  So here's a link to my favorite fluffy happy video for you.  But be careful when watching it--this video has lethal amounts of CUTE.