It's been a while. Too long.
So I moved cross-country for grad school. Drove 3000 miles by myself. I am so horribly homesick.
I am stressed and anxious and panicky. I forgot to get my prescription refilled so I have been taking no anxiety medication. I cannot tell if the panicky crying horrible-ness is due to lack of meds or just life stuff in general. I have good reasons to be panicky. I am 3000 miles away from home and D and all my friends. I have only barely unpacked. I have no money. I am not exaggerating. I sold some of my clothes and Scribblenauts and a movie today to make sure I would not overdraft my checking account. And I have $.30 in my savings. 2 people owe me money and once I get that it will be ok. And I start getting paid at the end of September. And rent and utilities for this month are already paid. So I am not in dire straits. But I still have never been this close before.
Impromptu fast because I do not have money to buy food.
I will be eating tomorrow though because my advisor invited me to dinner at his house.
I am worried about D and the long-distance thing. I don't know what to do. I don't know what I want.
Things will be ok. Right?
Poor Salix! Being miles from everything familiar and everyone you know is fucking hard. You have good reason to be upset! *Cuddles you and rocks you, singing happy songs*
ReplyDeleteYou will adjust, just give it time. You will miss home and everyone, (it doesn't stop) but you will build a place that you will be able to call home in this new environment. Be kind to yourself while you're adjusting, ok?
Oooooh that would have been a road trip of EPIC proportions! I wish I could have been with you! Heh, Goodbye Pork Pie: International Edition!! (You MUST watch Goodbye Pork Pie. If you can' find it, let me know and I'll post you a copy of the DVD and a Kiwiana care package)
*Lots of big cuddles*
care packages are a good idea! can you have your friends (or us gals here, if you trust any of us) send you some things you might need? packets of instant miso soup? chewable gummy vitamins? comic books?
ReplyDeleteI think what peri said is true, you'll miss the old but eventually the new won't be new anymore, it'll just be your normal life and your home will be the people who fill it. yeah?
I hope you'll be feeling much better once september ends and your finances straighten out a bit.
Hang in there, sweetie! I agree, care packages are the way to go :) I usually don't wish for anyone here to get bigger, but in this case, I hope your bank account does! At least you have everything paid off. Stay strong! xoxo
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