News flash: I should stop reading any sort of online article about eating disorders.  Especially the inevitable commentary following.

It just makes me SO ANGRY (and NO, I will NOT link to the article, which was about whether today's media causes eating disorders because a) I refuse to support shoddy journalism and ignorant commenters and b) I don't want to inadvertently trigger anyone.  And I know that it is triggering because as I am reading this SHIT I am thinking to myself that because I am not in double digits that I am not actually disordered and that ALL of my fears about being judged are OMG TOTALLY RATIONAL!!!111!  Note that this is the same reason that I should NEVER read any sort of "Fat Acceptance" article, because at least half of the comments are OMFG FAT PEOPLE ARE ONLY FAT BECAUSE THEY ARE UNHEALTHY, GREEDY, LAZY SLOBS AND THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO SUPPORT FAT ACCEPTANCE ARE FAT BITCHES THEMSELVES WHO JUST DON'T WANT TO DO ANY WORK.  Which is just not fucking true.)

People do not CHOOSE to be anorexic or bulimic.  At NO POINT IN MY LIFE did I say, "Huh.  I want to lose some weight.  I should stop eating." or "Wow, I feel pretty shitty right now.  Maybe I should eat everything in the goddamn fridge to stop from feeling this way."  IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT BEING THIN.  THERE ARE FRICKEN' BRAIN ALTERATIONS, PEOPLE.  PERSISTENT BRAIN ALTERATIONS. CHANGES IN CHEMISTRY AND STRUCTURE.

It's not a fucking choice.  It is a disease.  And you cannot simply CHOOSE to get better.  You can choose to fight it.  You can choose to get therapy.  You can't choose to all-of-a-sudden one day start eating normally again.  I mean, hell.  If it were that easy, I'd be eating 3 meals a day right now and not binging at all anymore.

I talk about a switch flipping in my control, but THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT IT WILL EVER FLIP ME BACK TO 'NORMAL'.  Even when I was eating 3 meals a day and not binging I STILL HAD ALL OF MY FUCKED-UP THOUGHTS AND NEUROSES ABOUT BODY AND FOOD.

THEY DON'T JUST GO AWAY.

Eating disorders are NOT DIETS.  They are NOT solely behavioral.  THERE ARE MENTAL ISSUES.  THAT IS WHY THEY ARE FUCKING CLASSIFIED BY THE DSM AS MENTAL DISORDERS.  And there ARE genetic components (twin studies suggest 50-80% genetic contribution.  Similar to schizophrenia and bipolar disorder).  SCIENCE SAYS SO.  That does NOT mean that they are solely genetic.  OKAY, PEOPLE?  SAYING THAT EDS HAVE A GENETIC COMPONENT DOES NOT MEAN THAT IF YOU HAVE THAT GENETIC PREDISPOSITION THAT OMG YOU CANNOT FIGHT IT, ED WILL TAKE YOU OVER.  Nature AND nurture, guys.  Every-goddamn-thing that you have a genetic predisposition for does not come to pass.  I have a genetic predisposition for immune system disorders.  I do have psoriasis, but have I had complete kidney failure like my father?  NO.  If genetics alone determined our lives, I'd be FUCKING DEAD right now.  YOUR DNA CODE CANNOT MAKE YOU FAT; NEITHER CAN IT MAKE YOU STARVE OR BINGE OR PURGE.  That's why it is called a PREDISPOSITION not a DETERMINATION.

And a HUGE FUCK YOU to people who think that ED is only a modern-day phenomenon brought on by the media.  Anorexia has been characterized back to the 16th century.  And hey, fasting girls of the 19th century?  TOTALLY HAPPENED.  THERE WAS A HUGE THING ABOUT IT.  HOW DID YOU MISS THAT?  The only reason that we think that ED is more prevalent today is that there is more attention placed on it.

Also, WHY THE FUCK is "anorexia tips" the second choice in the Google prompts list (second only to "anorexia")?  GOD FUCKING DAMN IT, PEOPLE.

IT'S A DISEASE.  YOU DON'T FUCKING WANT IT.  TRUST ME.