Wow, guys.  Thanks for all the comment love!

I guess I was kind of confusing; let me clarify.  Those were all entries from a file of random thoughts that I have on my computer.  They were all written at some point over this last summer.  (Not all at the same time, but I don't track dates, so I don't remember precisely when for each one.)

1.  I don't really believe that I'm not skinny enough to be disordered.  I mean, I'm not skinny at all.  But I know that you don't have to be skinny to have an ED.  In fact, most bulimics are at or above average weight.  Compulsive overeaters and binge-eaters tend to be above average weight.  The only DSM-categorized ED that requires you to be skinny is anorexia (BMI<17.5).  That entry was just me feeling angry at myself.

2.  Dr. Therapist is the therapist I was seeing last summer.  I came to the same conclusion as you guys: even if she didn't think she was ED anymore, she still had food issues.  I no longer see her anymore.  I am now seeing New Therapist, whom I like a lot better.  I feel much more comfortable with her.  She uses more cognitive-behavioral therapy techniques, which is nice.  Dr. Therapist was trained in talk therapy, but she was primarily a psychiatrist.

3.  I am trying to recover.  My progress is just really slow.  I'm working on not minimizing my problems...it's just that I have for so long that it is difficult to break that habit.  New Therapist is helping, I think.  So far I'm still at Step 1 in terms of food: eating 3 times a day, not skipping meals and not binging, and hitting between 1000-1500 calories (my brain can't handle any higher than that).  Haven't been doing so well reaching that goal lately.  But I'm trying.  I'm making more progress in identifying unhealthy/irrational cognitions, I think.  I haven't exactly figured out how to fix them, but at least I can now recognize them.  New Therapist is helping a lot with that.

4.  Sorry, Peri, the talk on trout was one in an entire section of a conference last July and I don't remember which specific one it was.  Might've been about genetics of lake trout?  I don't recall.

5.  Kazehana, that's an interesting suggestion about getting over crushes.  I have to admit, I've never tried it.  I should.  I don't tend to have many crushes, but when I do they are pretty long-term.  Maybe your technique will fix that.

6.  Thanks for all the drink suggestions (both alcoholic and non-alcoholic)!

7.  Seriously, thank you all so much for being here for me.  Your comments and support mean so much.  Give yourself a big hug, ok?  Then go take a hot bubble bath with your favorite scents.  You deserve it for being so awesome.

Lots of love,

Salix

P.S.  I talked to D this morning and we are ok.  Plus, only one week until I get to see him again.  :)