Feeling better mentally today.  Partly because I haven't eaten anything but a couple sour gummy worms and a diet coke.  Given the amount I ate yesterday that should even out.  I know, I know, I am supposed to be having 3 meals a day.  I just can't eat anything else right now.  My body hates me and my stomach feels like it will throw up if I put anything into it.  And I'm refluxing a little bit.  Plus I'm sore all over and my lower back hurts so much that I can't stand up for more than 15-20 minutes.  I don't know whether that is due to period; usually I get cramps and backaches at the start, not the end of it.  Apparently I'm backwards this time.

I'm being productive.  Sort of.  I'm doing laundry and I did dishes and cleaned up my room a bit.  This morning I spent watching videos on YouTube.  Mostly gymnastics videos.  I miss being a gymnast.  I don't miss all the shit that goes with it--unquestioning obedience, injuries, etc.--but I miss being skinny and healthy.  I miss being strong.  I miss being able to fly.

I made signage for my walls: "You are elite.  Do it.", "No pain, no gain", and "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels".  Though the last one might not be as appropriate.  I think we've gone over this issue already--I don't taste food, especially during a binge.  Whatever.  Maybe it will motivate me anyway.

Next on the list is to work on my presentation, which I have to unveil to the rest of the lab on Tuesday.  Shit.

But at the moment I need to go get my laundry out of the dryer and put it away.  I think I'll put some sexy music on and dance while I do that.  As long as my back lets me, anyhow.