Today has been nothing short of awesome.

I had my first test of the week this afternoon (biochem, ugh) and was super stressed out over it...but then I checked my emails between classes and OMG!!!  I got accepted into grad school!  My top choice!  (I haven't got the official letter of acceptance yet, but they sent me a "Welcome to so-and-so University!  Here's your student ID" type email, so I called and they said the letter should be in the mail.  WHEEEEE!) 

Stress over test?  Totally gone.  I don't even care if I aced it or not now.  I definitely don't think it was as horrendous as last one though.

And THEN after the test, I went to this Chinese grocery store...and found my shirataki noodles!  Seriously, guys, I absolutely adore this stuff.  Pasta for 0 cals?  What's not to love?  I've never found it in my area before though--I ordered it online.  It's cheaper at the grocery store.  :)

Actually, D and I went to Publix yesterday (because he cooked me dinner.  Awwww.  I managed to get him to use spaghetti squash instead of real pasta.  We mixed it with sauteed veggies.  Which made me anxious because he used tons of olive oil.  But I ate some anyway.  And he liked it, so yay!) and I found some there too...but it's the tofu kind, which is not 0 cal.

D is pretty incredible.  Have I said that lately?  I couldn't bring myself to tell him about the ED outright, so I gave him this blog address (I made him promise that he would never ever visit the blog again after the first time).  Here's the text exchange about 20 minutes after that:

D: Did you really think that would be enough to drive me away?  I love you [Salix], and that means I am here for you.  Can I come back so we can talk?
D:  I am actually still sort of outside.  I read on blackberry in car.  May I please come in??
me: not sure i want to talk to you
D: Why?  Honey, this isn't nearly enough to drive me away.  I am still here for you...if you will still have me.
me: anyway, you have class tomorrow.  you need to go home and get some sleep.
D: I can spare a few minutes at least.  We should talk about this.
me: there is nothing to talk about.
D: You know that's not true.
D: Please??  If not for you, then for me.

So I let him in and he cuddled me and talked to me for about 2 hours until I could look him in the face again.  He says he loves me.  He says we can make it through this.  He says he will be there for me and help me in whatever way he can.  He says I'm beautiful.

I don't know how much he really understands.  He wants to look up scientific papers on EDs.  I don't know how helpful that will be...he'd understand the clinical aspects, but probably not so much the emotional experience.

So far things are good.  It has not become a big issue like I feared.  In fact, it's been mostly a non-issue.  He has not been prying into what I eat/do not eat.  (I know he only read the latest posts...and we all know that those were binge-binge-binge, so I don't know if he realizes I starve as well.  He's pretty perceptive, so maybe.)  He says he won't push me to do anything I'm not comfortable with.  He did make me promise to give up laxatives.  Which I have.  They are so damaging anyways.

I can't believe he's still with me.  It's incredible.

Also, the past few days (actually, ever since I told D) have been great foodwise.  Had to go out to eat with a friend who was in town but just got a salad, no dressing on Wednesday, then D made dinner last night.  Other than that: gum, cough drops (FINALLY over that cold!), vitamins & calcium tablets, water, tea, and diet soda (needed the caffeine.  I know I should give that up).

I am finally getting a little lower.  Not as low as last semester yet, but I am on the right track!

I am so happy today.  I want to feel like this forever.  Let's all be happy together!  Just for 10 minutes today, throw everything else out the window and be joyful about something.  Sunshine, clouds, diet coke, gummy vitamins, a good grade, a good friend, anything!

:)