Hazy and angry. That was/is my day.
New tenant in my apartment. Room right next to mine. Total fucking creepster. ANGRY (and also scared).
Washer & dryer STILL not working and apartment manager nowhere to be found. ANGRY. I have no clean towels and no clean underwear except for tiny lacy things which are nice to show off but not necessarily nice to wear all the time.
Advisor didn't show up for our meeting. ANGRY.
D didn't respond to my texts. ANGRY. And IRRATIONAL (Brain goes: I bet he's hanging out with F, that BITCH).
Weight STILL the fucking same. ANGRY.
H texting me about shit that is not my problem. It's not my fault she didn't plan ahead, and no, I can't fucking do anything about it; I am 3000 miles away from you! ANGRY.
Ate a pint of berry sorbet for dinner. HAZY. Not counting it as a binge though maybe I should? I don't know. What are the rules here? Today's total is 562 cals (440 of those are from the sorbet). I decided that the sorbet was okay. I bought it with the intention of eating the whole thing for dinner (because the fucking freezer in my apartment doesn't work--ANGRY--so I can't keep anything in it). It wasn't a binge episode. Which is why I am not counting it as a binge, although I am sure it can't really be counted as normal eating behavior either.
Just realized that I have 2 friends with names that begin with H. That could get confusing.
Took a shower. HAZY. Cried in the shower for no real reason. HAZY. Shaved my legs and thought about blood. Wondered what would happen if I took all the pills I have leftover from before, when I was still taking my meds. Decided probably nothing, since I don't have that many. HAZY HAZY HAZY.
52 hours until D arrives, barring airplane delays. I hope I am less hazy by then.
I feel very crazy and otherworldly today. Like nothing is actually real. Or maybe everything is real except for me.
grow wings, let's fly south...this winter of discontent is not our natural habitat. fly away with me?
ReplyDeletethere's only one catch: habataitara modorenai.
it means..."if you flap your wings to fly away, there's no going back."
but if you're anything like me, itsu mo kaerimite. constantly looking behind...
You have legitimate reasons to rage! I only had a sneaky hate spiral >.< Currently trying to restrain the urge to go scalp the neighbour playing Halo at 2am with the volume cranked up. WHY does he use the automatic?!?!
ReplyDeleteLol, when we shove the apartment on the spaceship can we chuck in your creepy new neighbour? He'd be able to keep DeeDee company XD
Is there any way you can get repairs done on objects that are the Landbitch's responsibility and take repair costs out of your rent? I'm not sure what tenancy laws are like in the USA ^.^;
Sending love and wishings for a better day tomorrow. If not, rage out with loud angry music and scare the shit out of Creepy Neighbour.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo