Feeling much better and less sick this morning.  Throat still hurts a tiny bit, but that's it.  Yay nyquil and copious amounts of sleep!

In one hour I get on a bus to get on a plane to fly back to D's side of the world.

Here is the plan:

Spend Saturday doing things that make me happy.  Non-stressful things.  Go to the beach and be happy.

That night is the wedding.  Will see D there (and for the long car ride the next day).  Plan: be happy.  Be smile-y, be vivacious, be carefree, have my walls up high and sealed so tight that not even hydrofluoric acid could eat its way through.

I've never been able to block D before.  But then again, I've never actually tried.  Even from the very beginning he had access, which is very very extremely odd and out-of-character for me.  I don't know why D has always been such an exception to all of my rules.

Let it be a challenge, I suppose.  The car ride will be even more so, I'm sure.

But he's too dangerous to let in again.  He must be kept out.  I must keep him out.

With regards to food, the plan is: pretend to be normal.  Eat when/what others do/are (with obvious exceptions due to veganism, of course).

It is time to stop being stupid about this.  No more of this whiny "But food is so complicated!  It's too much effort!" bullshit.  It is time to put on my big girl panties and just fucking eat something.

Wish me luck.