He is no longer online.  Go away, anxiety, you are not needed.  He didn't say anything to me.  Not a single word.  I am unimportant.

Now I have cried today.

More stupid poorly-worded angst, scribbled down at random intervals prior to today's debacle:

We were more
than fishes and clarinets
philosophy and guns
We were
meteor showers
dinosaurs
beach lovers who kissed beneath the stars, got swallowed by the waves
We were
urgent kisses and
awkward touches and
soothing cuddles
We were
a wink and
a grin and
a wolf whistle
and now
We are not.

I can't cut and
I can't vomit and
I can't eat.
But there's no one watching me now, no one to make me try, no one to keep me full.
And when I'm empty enough
maybe the pain leaves
maybe I'll go numb

I was safe
and now I am no longer
I miss you