My skin has been dry lately. I need to remember to use more lotion. Especially on my hands. I will end up with fisherman's hands, all dry and callused.
When I was a kid, I was always the teacher's pet (it helped that I was too shy to actually talk until 7th grade). My mom would go to the parent-teacher conferences and come home and tell me how the teacher raved about how nice and quiet and well-behaved I was. And then conclude with, "Boy, you've really got them fooled, don't you? Why don't you act like that around here?" I was the Bad Child in our household.
I wonder if that's one of the reasons I have this notion that Good Salix is all an act?
I find it interesting that you still split yourself into a Good and Bad self despite the fact that as a scientist, you are more keenly aware that almost nothing in the world is inherently bad in itself; combinations, choices and uses of things create either positive or negative impacts.
ReplyDeleteYou are a person who makes choices...the consequences of the choices you make determines whether the choices were positive or negative, but not whether you yourself are Good or Bad.
Who you are at the core is made manifest by the types of behaviors you enact regularly; as far as I can tell, your actions paint a picture of a fairly conscientious, loyal, caring, responsible, studious, curious, honest person.
Over-simplifying all those things into black and white terms denies the intricacies of your own personality. I know most people with EDs tend to do this a lot, but it's definitely a really shitty way to denigrate one's own worth.
I myself was a holy freaking terror as a child, at home, at school, and everywhere else except during worship services (coz I definitely had more affection/respect for God than for my parents, teachers or peers). But none of the people I know who remember me from my whole life onward refer to me as having been a 'bad' child. Difficult to manage, yes. Hard to keep up with, for sure.
But I can see from my own experiences with others that a person is truly judged by the smiles he or she leaves behind in his or her wake. People tend to forget the frowns you caused along the way; if they didn't, who would ever have friends? lovers? close knit communities?
There is no Good Salix or Bad Salix. There is only Salix and her pormanteau of humanity.