I just Skyped with D and it was good. Or at least I felt it was. I wish I knew his thoughts on the matter, but I didn't want to ask and ruin the good.
I am looking at phone upgrades. I want a keyboard again so that I can text people with more regularity. I have been using D's old phone (a Samsung Juke) since last August when my beloved Samsung Zeal met its untimely demise (i.e., I accidentally got it wet). And while it's so sweet of D to give me his old phone and I didn't have the money at the time for a new one, I can't text on the thing worth shit. It's TINY. I needs my QWERTY keyboards!!
I miss being in touch with my friends, most of whom are across the country. I barely text anyone except D sometimes and D's friend B when he texts me. And I think texting more will help with the D situation. My hypothesis is that the real issue is that we aren't very present in each other's lives anymore--I mean, it's not like we can really go places and do things together while we are long-distance dating. So what I need to do is MAKE myself part of his life again. I need to remind him of my presence and my awesome-ness. Too often I do or see something fun and think "Oh wow, D would LOVE that, I have to tell him!" And then by the time we talk again I've forgotten. And then I remember later but oops, we've already hung up, so too late!
Today I have eaten 220 calories. One apple and one soy latte (still in the process of drinking that, actually). Not "healthy", but whatever. It's better than binging. Today is Day #2 of no binging. Yesterday I had coffee, fruit, tomato soup (pre-made because I was at a workshop and they gave us lunch, so it was not vegan and it gave me a tummy-ache and acid reflux) and some more fruit. Oh, and a blue Jolly Rancher. I don't know how many calories all of that was, but there was no binge so it doesn't matter.
This week I am going to start doing yoga again, assuming I can drag myself out of bed 30 minutes earlier each morning. (Starting Tuesday. I am going to be up really late finishing all my homework--damn workshop--so tomorrow morning I am sleeping in.)
There are many "I"s in this post and I now feel very self-centered. But I suppose that's what blogs are for.
Your answer about exercise makes perfect sense. Although I personally find that remembering my childhood athleticism motivates me to bust my ass so I can get back to those feelings of being free and uncomplicatedly physical...in another person I can see how it would cause anxiety if the comparison was always painful.
ReplyDeleteI'm a big fan of yoga, myself. The combination of slowing down to meditate with purposeful movement might help alleviate some of the hurtful associations. :)
As for my sinuses...oi. The repercussions of purging are manifold. I don't have the type of sinus congestion you're thinking per se.
What I have is bleeding of the sinuses that flows not out of my nose but backwards into my throat, as the infection and irritation occur where the sinus and throat join and where the stomach acids splash repeatedly when I'm in a b/p cycle.
So basically it seems like I constantly have a frog in my throat, but really it's my sinuses draining from above.
No decongestant can help as they also dry out the sinus tissues, which are then more prone to bleeding (and I can't take them coz of my liver anyway), and they also don't kill the bacteria that are at the root of the infection.
So yeah. I do sinus lavage and gargle with salt water and I take certain chinese herbs that target the bacterial over-population. It just doesn't generally work over night.
*sigh*
More reasons why you should be really glad that you can't make yourself vomit. ;p
As for you and D and texting, I think it's a great idea. Texting is pretty much me and B's main form of communication and it definitely is a huge chunk of how we remain invested in each other's lives. That, and spying on each other via twitter/facebook/tumblr lol...legit creepstatus, but it keeps us close, like watching each other through a window so to speak.
THIS COMMENT IS OFFICIALLY TOO LONG.
xo
Whn you see something he'd like, text it to him. Force yourself to get around the lack of QWERTY :P
ReplyDeleteWhat on earth is a Jolly Rancher? Is it a lollipop or an ice block or what?
Don't work too hard on your Monday, ok?
<3
Oh I see! I thought they were some sort of ice block :x You guys get the coolest candies.
ReplyDelete