Ok.  Versatile Blogger time.  (Kazehana and Peri both gave it to me and they are both awesome and I love them.)

If you read this and have not yet been awarded, I thus award you.  Yes, I am taking the cheater way out.  In my defense, I do not know who has and has not gotten this yet.  Also, it is 1:30 AM my time and I have been awake and stressing a very long time now.  And am exhausted to the point of being unable to sleep.

Anyway.  7 random things which hopefully you did not know about me, although maybe you did.  In which case, *waves wand* OBLIVIATE!  There.  Now you do not know them anymore.

1.  I thought perhaps I was making progress because I have been looking in the mirror lately and finding myself almost pretty.  Unfortunately, today I was back to ugly puffy normal.  Whether this is due to lack of sleep, too much food, the D situation, or another variable is unknown.

2.  I decided what I wanted to be when I grew up in 7th grade and am still on that career path (with minor modifications).

3.  I have several grammar and spelling pet peeves, including the misuse of affect and effect, spelling definitely as definately (or even worse, defiantly; AAARRRGGH), they're/there/their, and your/you're.  I also detest Comic Sans with a fiery passion.  No less than SEVEN (yes, I counted) of the presentations at this conference used CS somewhere and it drove me fucking MAD.

4.  I am not religious.  I don't really identify as anything in particular.  If I had to classify myself, I'd say that I walk the line between agnosticism and athiesm.  At present, I don't see any convincing evidence for a god(s). However, I won't deny the possibility and, if I ever do see evidence, I will accept the presence of god(s).  My thought at the moment (which is possibly influenced by sleep-deprivation) is that the presence of a god would somewhat invalidate the sheer AMAZING-NESS of the world.  Science is SO COOL and it is mind-bogglingly incredible to think about all the natural processes necessary to create the world as we know it today.  To just say "goddidit" negates all that wonder.

5.  Sometimes I worry that I am amoral.  Or at the very least, incapable of feeling true emotion.  I have difficulty differentiating whether I "feel" something because I actually do feel it or because I think that it is what I "should" feel (e.g., what society expects me to feel).

6.  I watched the Voyage of the Dawn Treader on the plane to D's and was disappointed.  That was my favorite Narnia book when I was very young (before I caught on to the heavy Christian overtones--even though I was raised largely in the South, my parents never took me to church or taught me bible stories, etc.) mostly for the Eustace/dragon scene.  You know the one, where dragonEustace peels off the top layers of his skin but there's always more dragon skin underneath but then finally Aslan comes along and pierces through all the dragon layers with one claw, and Eustace peels it all away like you'd peel the bark off a branch?  I loved that scene.  I always fantasized about being able to do that: peel away all the layers of my skin to find the real me, the right me, the good me underneath.  I seem to recall that they use the word "slim" in the book and even then, I think the appeal to me was slightly disordered in origin.  They completely changed that in the movie.  Now it's all sand and special effects and while it is visually nice, it means nothing to me anymore.

7.  I make plans for horrible things so that I am prepared.  For example, if my mother called right now to tell me my father had died, I know exactly what I would do, down to the wording of the emails I would send to my professors.  (This situation is not incredibly unlikely; my father is currently about 2 years past his medically predicted expiration date.)  I rehearse conversations in my mind too.  They generally never leave my head, since I tend to get nervous and babble whenever I actually talk to people.  But I still do it.  Then sometimes I forget whether I have told someone something in real life or just in my imagination and that gets confusing.  I have a very vivid imagination sometimes.  I also maintain remnants of magical thinking.  I used to be paranoid about people in pictures watching me and people reading my mind.  Not too much of that anymore, but I do still have the irrational fear sometimes that I can affect events by thinking about them/picturing certain outcomes.

I guess that's a morbid/crazy note to end on, but I am so tired.  And I suspect I'm getting more nonsensical than usual.  So bedtime now.  Goodnight.