Annnndd no sooner do I post that then the bad things all come back in force.

Cried in the office today for the first time in a while.

PMS-y week, I think, which sucks because a) I feel shitty and b) much harder to keep emotional control, so seeing D will be even harder.

I have felt nauseous all day.

Stupid J keeps texting me; I don't know why; wasn't one awful date enough?  I don't want you, I want D!

The lack of appetite and/or binge-urges is starting to scare me.  Office lady brought in left-over Easter carrot cake and I took a slice to be normal.  No urge to even taste it.  It sat on my desk all day.  And it smelled great, but it was like smelling a candle.  No urge to eat.  Eventually I cut it in half and threw half away and then gave the rest to E.

I'm having soup for dinner tonight because I planned it.  I have no urge to eat it but it was planned so I will anyway.

I'm worrying myself.

I don't belong here and I am overwhelmed and I cannot deal and I don't know what to do.  I don't know how to fix anything.  I cannot handle this sad.  It is crushing me.