Finally finally got some sleep.  I am sore and I have bruises in random spots on my body and a cut on my thumb, but we got some good-looking data so it's all worth it, yes?

Also I got a lot of good thinking done.  I don't know what it is about water, but it calms me like no other.  I don't know.  I've never been able to explain it.  Being on the water just makes me happy.  This is why I love the beach so much too.  Water is my special place.

Anyway.  So lots of things happened and I had many thoughts and now I don't know where to start because there was so much.

I'm going hiking with some people from my grad class soon.  Some of them are camping overnight, but because I am stupid and disordered I did not feel brave enough to eat dinner and breakfast in front of them (and vegan is no excuse in this situation because a couple others are too, so I know there will be veg-friendly food).  I hate ED.  I also always feel very awkward in social situations and worry that I ruin them by being there.  Especially because I still don't feel that I quite fit in with this group.

After one particularly long boat day in which I was irresponsible and let myself get very dehydrated, I came home and saw a nice number on the scale.  It left as soon as I re-hydrated myself, of course, but this morning it was back plus 0.5.  So that means I should see it again soon.

I went to the vegan store near my house and bought an excessive amount of food, considering that I actually haven't been eating anything but soup lately.  Oh well.  I suppose it will just sit in my fridge/freezer until I feel like eating again.

I discovered the holy grail of showers.  It is in my basement.  The shower in the bathroom next to my room (which I have been using since last September when I moved in) is horribly awful.  And one day after the boat I tried to take a shower.  Waited 30 minutes and the water was still going from ice-cold to luke-warm.  So I went downstairs to the apartment manager's room and told him, very calmly, "I have waited 30 minutes for the upstairs shower to warm up and it has not.  I have been on a boat since 5 this morning and I am tired and dirty and I really really REALLY need a shower right now."  And he said, "Have you tried the basement shower?"  Whoa.  There's a basement shower?  Turns out, yes, there is.  And it is scalding hot with wonderful water pressure.  BEST SHOWER EVER.  I am never using the upstairs shower again.  Though I think that manager is now trying to get it fixed.  I guess my mother was right for once--the squeaky wheel does get the grease.

D's been on my brain, but when is he not?  Especially because I know that at this very moment he is approximately 3 hours away from me and I know he found out for sure about grad schools yesterday and I have not heard anything from him at all.  I feel I am making at least a bit of progress in thinking through things though.  I don't know.  Too many thoughts and not enough time to talk about them right now.  I have to go pick people up for this hiking trip.

I missed you guys.  Much hugs and love and probably more strange obsessing and ranting later.

<3